Photo: juniperphoton via Unsplash.
In a world of increasing isolation and loneliness, a community can encourage people to say “hi.”
In retirement communities, I’m learning, there’s a big push to connect people with other people and combat isolation. When new residents go to the dining room, the hosts invariably ask, “Would you like to sit with some other folks?” That effort, I find, can either be helpful or strange. I had one elderly couple write down all the things I said about my history and our decision to move and then not recognize me the next day!
But I understand why the organization does it. Isolation is historically a problem for older people.
Nowadays it’s a problem for younger people, too, who often communicate through electronic media only and don’t gather in person.
Orla Barry writes at the radio show The World, “Loneliness can be as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to an international commission launched by the World Health Organization this month.
“Saying hello to a stranger may not seem like that big of a deal. But Åsa Koski, a social strategist with the Luleå municipality in northern Sweden, believes its impact could be greater than one might think. She started the Säg hej! (‘Say hi!’) campaign in Luleå to try and get people to interact more with each other to combat widespread loneliness.
“Luleå is a coastal city located around 93 miles south of the Arctic Circle. Winters there are long and cold and the average temperature can drop to 5 degrees Fahrenheit.
“But Koski, doesn’t think the weather alone is to blame for the isolation that many Swedes reportedly feel. Recent research by Sweden’s public health agency found that a third of 16-29-year-olds say they experience problems caused by loneliness.
“Koski thinks the continual urbanization of the town and an ever-growing dependence on digital technology are far bigger factors than the long dark winters. …
“California-born Lauren Ell is familiar with the Swedish reticence to engage in friendly banter with a stranger but she thinks it’s a generational thing. Ell first moved to Sweden as a foreign exchange student in 2006. Making friends with Swedish students was almost impossible, she said.
“Like Koski, Ell thinks digital technology is part of the problem.
“ ‘Even back in 2006 gaming was really big and I remember a lot of my classmates would just go home and play video games all evening.’ Today, everyone is stuck on their phones, she said. Ell, who now lives in Skaulo, a small Swedish town north of Luleå, said she knows things aren’t that different in the US. But she said Swedes appear to have a natural tendency to keep to themselves or just mingle within their own social circles, and that makes it even harder for foreigners to integrate into the community.
“Swedish Italian filmmaker Erik Gandini believes other factors may be driving the problem of loneliness in Sweden.
“ ‘A long time ago, this country really embraced the idea of personal autonomy and independence,’ he said. Gandini was born and raised in Italy to a Swedish mother and Italian father. When he moved to Stockholm at the age of 20 he was struck by the number of people in their late teens already living alone.
“In 2021, Sweden recorded the lowest average age of young people leaving the parental home across the European Union — at 19 years. In Italy, the average age is closer to 30. …
“Gunnar Andersson, professor of demography at Stockholm University said Sweden’s ‘culture of individualism’ dates back centuries, with teenagers in rural communities typically leaving home to go and work on another farm. The strong welfare state allows young adults to live independently without the support of their parents. …
“It’s very different from the traditional Italian family structure that Gandini grew up in and in 2015 he made a documentary about the Swedish system called The Swedish Theory of Love. The film got a mixed response in Sweden. Gandini said it touched a nerve.
“ ‘The idea is so strong in Sweden of making sure that you never need anybody else, it’s become something sacred here. Swedish people don’t like to see that criticized or questioned,’ he said.
“Gandini believes it’s a double-edged sword. The government changes in the 1970s led to greater female emancipation and pushed Sweden toward becoming a more modern society, he said, but that has left people more prone to isolation and loneliness.
“US native Lauren Ell said she often feels lonely living in Sweden. She never intended to live in the Nordic country long term, but 10 years ago, Ell fell in love with a Swedish man and moved to his hometown of Skaulo.
“In the last couple of years Ell, who now has two small children, set about trying to get to know her community better. She began organizing events to bring local residents together. … But Ell finds that just getting people to show up is not easy. It’s demoralizing, she said. …
“Ell, who’s 35, said she finds it harder to connect with Swedes who are her own age and younger. Many of her best conversations are with older neighbors in their 60s and 70s, she said. …
“Teachers in Luleå have reported that the campaign is already having an effect. Koski said students are now challenging each other to see how many ‘hi’s’ they can get in a day. A teacher told Koski that one student, who usually spends most of his time alone, admitted he was buoyed up when other students began to say ‘hi’ to him.”
More at PRI’s The World, here. No firewall.
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