My husband and I are on our own for the first time at Thanksgiving. We ordered turkey takeout, but I did make the apple pie.
I want to avoid perpetuating any Thanksgiving mythology but at the same time write about the enduring appeal of a universal idea — people with differences breaking bread together.
We now know that our traditional Thanksgiving story is both inaccurate and hurtful to descendants of the indigenous people who first encountered the Pilgrims. As you can read at the Christian Science Monitor, here, the New York Times, here, and the Smithsonian, the story of colonial contact is considerably more heartbreaking than uplifting.
This knowledge has been discussed widely for quite a few years now, and yet there are still schools where children make feather headdresses and Facebook friends who post Pilgrims and Wampanoag chiefs holding hands. So what is the appeal, apart from the spin and wishful thinking of conquerors?
Pretty sure it’s the breaking-bread-together part.
I remember my sense of gratitude and privilege (the good kind of privilege) when I was invited to my friends’ Passover seder. How I loved hearing about the words that are said over all the traditional dishes and the history associated with them. I loved learning that I shouldn’t quiz my friend’s father on his WW II experience because “we focus on peaceful topics at Passover.” How else would a person raised Episcopalian gain this interesting knowledge about cultural differences?
Even at non-Covid Thanksgiving meals, you know, we often break bread among differences. Friends regularly say they hope they can keep distant relatives off religion and politics and just focus on things everyone enjoys in common. Because among differences, there are always commonalities.
All of which is my roundabout way of sharing my delight in some unusual combinations of dishes ESL students I know are preparing for Thanksgiving. It’s a merging of cultures.
“For Thanksgiving, I’m going to cook baked pork in sweet and sour pineapple and orange sauce, turkey, Russian salad, and Italian pasta.”
“For Thanksgiving, I plan to cook baked pork with pineapple, cranberry, and ginger sauce. Mashed potatoes and fruit salad.”
“I plan on cooking turkey, rice, pork, and Salut bacalao [Puerto Rican fish stew]. The drink will be Coquito [coconut eggnog].”
“I plan on cooking turkey, potato salad, chicken lasagna, and fruit.”
“I plan to cook turkey, rice, salad, and lasagna. For dessert we will make a brownie and three-milk cake.”
“Our plan for Thanksgiving is to cook a turkey, chicken, rice. And we are going to make a salad.”
Another student told me she usually makes the same things I think of as traditional Thanksgiving dishes but adds corn fritters. This year, she writes, she’s alone and isn’t sure what she’ll make, adding, “The smallest number of people in the home will be best for avoiding Covid-19. I think I’m in the smallest group by myself.”
Suzanne's Mom's Blog 
Happy thanksgiving!
Thank you! Stay well, wherever you are.
Your apple pie looks delicious.
It turned out OK. Easier when it’s the only thing you’re doing for what is usually a pretty chaotic holiday. Do you recall how moved J was when we celebrated with students in Lucerne? And how you showed me about adding nutmeg to mashed potatoes?
Yes, How many years ago? I loved the way you and Suzanne arranged the Thanksgiving dinner.
I’ve been messing up geography lately, saying “New Hampshire” when I meant “Vermont” and “Lucerne” when I meant “Lausanne.” Is it going to get worse?
Happy thanksgiving 🙂🦃
Thank you, and best wishes to you, too. Stay safe!
Yes, the communal meal. No gifts but the baked and sauteed kind. : )
Covid Thanksgiving was unnaturally peaceful, but fortunately, we got a little chaos when we did video calls with our kids and grandkids. Ha!
That sounds like a lot of fun!
Such a thoughtful post! And, yes, breaking bread together cuts across cultures and centuries. Hope you enjoyed that lovely apple pie.
When we still thought we would be eating outside on Suzanne’s porch, the pie was for everyone. My husband and I each had a slice, and then I froze the rest for when I next see Suzanne and John and their families.
One pie for two people is a lot.
Loved your post and the comments. I was in a cooking frenzy so couldn’t respond yesterday. Your pie looked wonderful! I had two people over–a friend with whom I have been sharing Thanksgiving for 49 years, and a neighbor who is about to start radiation. They were the first people in my apartment since March, and I had a lot of cleaning to do! I hadn’t noticed how many cat prints had embedded themselves on the tops of furniture, etc.. It was a lovely celebration.
I also this week attended first a graveside ceremony and then an online shiva minyan for a dear friend, the mother of another dear friend. I had many seders with them and will miss Hilda dearly. She was 104. Resonating with your comments about seders. In a strange way it was a part of thanksgiving–for a life well lived, and a chance to see daughter Hannah, whom I haven’t seen in person for several years. Many kinds of thankfulness indeed.
You will know whose seder I was writing about — your classmates’. David and Leah. It was very special.
Very cute and poignant ending. Thanks for sharing!
People who break bread together are companions. It’s one of my favorite etymologies:
Com- from the Latin “cum,” meaning “with” or “together with,” like “con” of the Spanish “con queso.”
-pan- this word for bread is similar to many of its cognates, like the French “pain.”
-ion, the noun suffix.
So a com-pan-ion is someone you eat bread with, implying that you break bread with them first.
Thanks! Makes sense.