Photo: Suzanne and John’s Mom.
Flowers from some staff to inaugurate our move. Note the packing boxes in the background.
A story could be written about the move to a retirement community. But what kind of story? Richard Osman of Thursday Murder Club fame saw the possibilities of all the aging expertise in such places for solving crimes, so he launched a mystery series.
Maybe something more literary would be in order, along the lines of Katherine Mansfield or the late Edith Pearlman, who sometimes wrote stories about aging.
Some folks might see the Twilight Zone aspect — but in a good way.
I better explain. When you go to a Place, you pretty much know it’s your last stop. It’s the place where you will decline, get more hard of hearing, have trouble walking, break a bone, get it fixed, and eventually die. The look of new people arriving there is invariably both anxious and relieved. The relieved end is more prominent for me right now.
You get introduced at a new-resident party, and longtime residents need no encouragement to step up and welcome you, talking about cool events (and committees), and helping you figure out how things work. I was delighted to find someone who maintains a garden plot and told me where I could compost my vegetable scraps.
These folks have already gotten used to the idea that it’s the last stop, and they are really happy to be in a place with lots of friends, interesting things to be part of, and — when trouble arises — all kinds of help. I observed an impressive level of comfort with infirmities. No one blinks if you have to ask a couple times for someone to repeat, and I saw folks with fairly severe infirmities who are still in charge of various things.
I knew one person here, only slightly, and she was very welcoming. I did see lots of familiar faces as we have lived in the town more than 40 years. Blogger/singer Will McMillan performs at this place several times a year with pianist Joe Reid, and he paved the way for me to make another friend.
Although boxes still aren’t unpacked and lots of things still feel kind of up in the air, we are doing OK. The dinners are very good. I don’t think I will be having to use our new kitchen much, and that is welcome.
PS. I am awkward with using Google photos but want you to see a funny video of our young movers. Can you figure out how this works?
https://photos.app.goo.gl/641cpVKfebMa8TzK7
My move manager took it, so in case it is locked or something, I will tell you that the three moving guys admired a big gong in the house and I told them each to take a turn with the mallet. It was pretty cute.
Suzanne's Mom's Blog 
Congratulations!!! You describe this step in your life so honestly and eloquently — “When you go to a Place, you pretty much know it’s your last stop. It’s the place you will decline, get more hard of hearing, have trouble walking, break a bone, get it fixed, and eventually die. The look of new people arriving there is invariably both anxious and relieved. The relieved end is more prominent for me right now.” I love that you had a playful rapport with your movers (very sweet gong videos), and I hope that this proves to be a welcome transition in your lives! I will reach out to Jill and see about when Joe and i might schedule another musical visit…
Thank you. And good idea!
Glad your move is going well and people are so friendly!
I met a woman from my church who wrote a book called *Eightsomethings.* I’m not there yet, but my husband is. They give a copy to every new resident!
Very glad to hear the food is good and the residents are welcoming!
The first two dinners were super, the third not so much. But so far the percentage is in our favor!
Wonderful work and account and thank you for being a
pathfinder. It is tempting for us to follow your footsteps. Love, Kris
You know I would love it if you came to the same place.
I love that idea! Like being back in a college dorm again with your friends!
Well … kind of. I’m conscious of having more people who see me every day, which makes me think I shouldn’t wear the same shirt all week.
Wow, CE, I did not realize that the date was upon us already. I want to echo what other commenters have said: you write about this beautifully. I’m going to share it with my dad. And I will send you an email for the address…
I know your dad is at home. This arrangement doesn’t appeal to everyone. A local friend who is 88 held off as long as she could and is sad about moving, but the workarounds for bad arthritis etc are not working as well. She is an amazingly energetic person. I get tired just listening to all the things she does in a single day.
It’s true that it’s not for everyone, but I’m thinking maybe reading about people’s accounts of making the transition might make it seem more possible.
Yes, what an honest and eloquent post. Especially this: “I observed an impressive level of comfort with infirmities.” Happens to most of us as we age, and as someone who has arthritis, I can certainly relate.
I did not know you were moving. Did I miss a post? Anyway, it sounds as though the move is a good one, even though it might be bittersweet.
Finally, loved Richard Osman’s books!
Hannah, a friend since nursery school, said I’m too young and was kind of horrified. But I think it’s going to be OK. My daily activities are not going to change. Except not shopping for, timing, cooking, and cleaning up dinner!
I’m impressed that the move was not allowed to interrupt your publication schedule, and yes, it was a bit of a surprise to learn that you had made what is a momentous change in life. Your comment about not wearing the same shirt all week reminded me of my experiences in the early days here at Kendal. You and John are objects of interest and inspection as new residents and will be meeting a lot of people, but that will subside. It will be fun for me, who made the big move at a young(ish) age, to read what you will have to say as you spend time in your new habitat. Considering how my health has deteriorated since then, much to my surprise, I’m glad to be in a place where my infirmities don’t hinder me as they would have done had I stayed put seven years ago.
Absolutely. We are OK now but feel calmer about the future. I will share observations here and hope to learn from your experience.
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