Suzanne's Mom's Blog

Photo: Maggie Shannon/Washington Post.
John, seen at his home studio, records four commercials a week for TopDog Law, a personal injury firm.

I don’t picture myself ever wanting to us use one of those aggressive personal-injury law firms that seem to shout at me from giant billboards along the highway, but today’s article from the Washington Post does make me curious about the guy who does one firm’s radio ads. Have you heard the Top Dog Law ads?

Elahe Izadi wrote about him recently at the Washington Post.

“Terrell ‘Lucky’ John settles into his office chair, cues up ProTools, scrolls to find the instrumental track thumping in his head all day, and hits ‘play.’

“ ‘I don’t even know what’s going to come out of my mouth,’ he later explains. ‘When I sit down, and I hear the music, it’s like, okay, what are we gonna talk about?’ …

“John bops his head and taps his fingers in the air to the up-tempo, bass-heavy and chattering Baltimore club-like house beat, and lets the words come to him. He mouths them silently. Then he clicks ‘record,’ and his voice explodes into the microphone.

” ‘What you know ’bout getting bit by dog?! What you gonna do if that dog chase you?! That’s a serious question. Whatchu gonna do? And I’m talking to the insurance companies … If you ever get into an accident, you want to call the dog! Let the dog go chase! Let the dog go bite! … TOOOOOOP DOOOOG LAW!‘

“A little over a week later, his words would be blasting out of car stereos across the country.

“John is an unusual kind of radio star. He’s not a DJ, or a talk host, or even a musician. But as the pitchman for the personal injury firm TopDog Law, for whom he records four commercials a week that air in cities across the country, his voice may be among the most heard on radio today. They’ve made him internet-famous, and they’ve made him good money, too: John says his contract for TopDog Law advertising is worth a little more than $1 million this year.

“But to describe what John makes as just ‘commercials’ doesn’t quite capture what’s happening here. These are operatic sagas. Emotional journeys. Slightly unhinged poems. Bellowing over dramatic music and with a produced reverb echo, John unspools scenarios that may prompt philosophical reflection and require the services of a personal injury attorney.

” ‘I don’t know if this is karma. I don’t know what this is. I went to the store today, and I got into an accident. Doctor’s telling me I may never be able to work again in my life. My mom is tellin’ me everything’s gonna be all right. She called TopDog. Wife tellin’ me we about to be rich. Brother tellin’ me you about to be a millionaire. Like I give a … about some money right now! You know I’m paralyzed?! You know I’m paralyzed from the neck down from this accident?!

” ‘All I tried to do was go to the store! And y’all talkin’ to me about some …ing money?! I don’t give a … about money, man. Talkin’ about a mill, two mill. Man, I can’t walk, man!‘

“This work on terrestrial radio has become the stuff of memes. ‘I’ve see them on YouTube. He rapping without rapping,’ the rapper Jadakiss said of John’s work during a July episode of his podcast with Fat Joe, ‘Joe and Jada.’

“ ‘Every time I hear them on the radio, I turn them up,’ replied Fat Joe. … ’ That guy is the best in commercials.’

“Online, others have also taken notice. A comedian filmed himself simply listening to one of John’s TopDog Law ads on his car radio, and it got tens of thousands of likes, views and comments. A podcast host and author filmed another ad on her car radio. … She said. ‘I think it’s a perfect piece of art. I hope you play it at my funeral.’ …

“Some hate them: ‘My husband turns down the volume whenever their commercials come on. Drives him nuts.’

“Many don’t realize they’re a national phenomenon. … Others are simply curious.

“ ‘Who is this guy?’ one person asked. ‘I’ve been trying to find him to see what face matches the voice lol.’

“This guy is 47, and his face has an innocent, boyish quality. When in normal-conversation mode, John comes off as mild-mannered. Measured. Polite. … His path to radio viral-ity began when he was a nightlife promoter in Philadelphia, and he’d tag along with his mentor during his club commercial recording sessions. One time, John thought, hey, let me try this. Something instantly clicked. He started recording radio spots for a now-shuttered gentlemen’s club called Club Onyx. …

“When the pandemic hit, he took a step back from nightlife and dove into voice-over work. He began making ads for car dealerships — work he still does — and personal injury firm Big Al. Then TopDog Law came calling. …

“John’s aim is simply to create something unforgettable, so that, should you find yourself suddenly needing legal help, only one name comes to mind: ‘TopDog Law.’

“He starts by picking the instrumental track, using copyright-free tracks available on YouTube that he’s downloaded. … He listens for a few minutes. Sometimes he has a fragment of an idea his wife mentioned to him — ‘Okay, you’re in the airport and the dog sniffing you, bites you’ — or something he’s observed, like the self-driving cars in L.A., will visit his mind. John picks it up from there, and silently mouths the words to the beat to see if he can get the whole story in under the 30- or 60-second time limit — he saves a few seconds for the needed disclaimers.

“Then he hits record, and starts yelling into the microphone, eyes closed. … ‘I’m visualizing everything I’m saying as I say it.’

” ‘Am I gonna die? No, you’re not gonna die. But you gonna be in this hospital for the next six months. Can you tell me what happened? No. I can’t tell you what happened right now. Why? Because you don’t need to know that right now. I wanna know what happened! I want you to tell me now! You really wanna know what happened? Okay. Imma tell you. You was hit by a tractor-trailer. You was on the expressway. It’s bad. You want me to keep going? … You just waking up out of the coma. You’ve been in a coma for the last two weeks! You want me to keep going? Yes! You’re paralyzed. Car accidents, medical malpractice, it’s Toooop Dooooog Law!‘

“Some voice actors worry about being replaced by artificial intelligence, and John does, too, but ‘I think it’d be hard for AI to’ make these ads,’ he said. ‘It’s so unhinged and so random.’ ”

More at the Post, here. Or look for John on YouTube.