Photo: Jackie Valley/The Christian Science Monitor.
Fifth graders at Dennis Ortwein Elementary School in Las Vegas, Nevada, and their Let Grow posters.
Ultimately, you want your children to grow up able to take care of themselves. Love and convenience give parents plenty of temptation to do things for them beyond the point where the help is beneficial. That’s why a school in Nevada is lending a hand to kids and parents alike to so that fledglings may have a good chance to fledge.
Jackie Valley has the story at the Christian Science Monitor.
“Walking the dog. Wrapping a package. Cooking dinner.
“For adults, these activities often represent mundane to-do list tasks. But for fifth graders in Las Vegas, they offered something different this past school year – a taste of independence.
“ ‘I can do things by myself more instead of having my dad or my mom do them,’ says Deven Doutis, who learned his dog goes a little nuts when he spots another canine out for a stroll.
The small steps toward greater – and lasting – independence came about in a very intentional way.
“Deven’s teacher, Amy Wolfe, sensed students were entering higher grades with more needs than in past years. Some couldn’t open a water bottle, for instance, or navigate minor conflicts with their peers. So when Ms. Wolfe heard about a program called Let Grow, she decided to pilot it within select classrooms at Dennis Ortwein Elementary School in Las Vegas.
“The program’s premise is simple: When children gain independence, they grow into more confident and capable people. …
“But what, exactly, are kids allowed to do by themselves nowadays? Terms such as ‘helicopter parent’ or ‘overparenting’ have become shorthand to describe adults who are overly involved, sometimes to the detriment of their child’s developmental growth. …
“A poll conducted last year for C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital at the University of Michigan found that three-quarters of parents say they have their children do things for themselves; however, the percentage of parents who report their children do specific activities independently is lower. Only a third of parents, for example, allow their 9-to-11-year-old child to walk or bike to a friend’s house. A similar portion say they encourage their 5-to-8-year-olds to decide how to spend their own gift or allowance money.
“Safety concerns emerged as the top reason those same parents don’t allow their children more free rein. The results did not come as a surprise to Lenore Skenazy, president of Let Grow and author of Free-Range Kids. For years, she has been on a mission to unleash children in a society where they increasingly have little independence in the physical world. …
“She says the backlash stems from a pervasive, heightened sense of danger built by media narratives and litigious tendencies. …
“In a commentary piece published by the Journal of Pediatrics last year, researchers pointed to evidence showing a correlation between children’s dwindling independence and increasing mental health problems over several decades.
” ‘We are not suggesting that a decline in opportunities for independent activity is the sole cause of the decline in young people’s mental well-being over decades, only that it is a cause, possibly a major cause,’ the authors wrote. (The lead author, Peter Gray, is a research professor in psychology at Boston College and a founding member of Let Grow.)
“In Ms. Wolfe’s classroom each month, students chose an independent activity, loosely tied to a theme, and completed it by themselves. Then they reported back to their classmates and teacher about the experience. There were no grades or critiques. If Ms. Wolfe asked any probing questions, it was to suss out how her students felt after, say, baking a cake or pulling weeds. …
“ ‘It’s more about developing the conversations with students to where they see independence … as a value,’ she says. …
“For her first project, Giwan Istefan’s 11-year-old daughter, Aria, decided to make miniature lemon-and-blueberry cheesecakes. Ms. Istefan says it turned into an exercise in parental restraint as well.
“ ‘I was like, “Oh my gosh, I see the disaster happening,” ‘ she says. ‘But I had to step back. It was growth not just for her, but it was growth for also myself.’ “
More at the Monitor, here. What are some of the ways you have encouraged independence in children, not necessarily only as a parent?
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