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Posts Tagged ‘friendship’

Photo: Sarah Aziz.
Muslims and Jews in Kolkata, India, have a long history of friendship.
Shaikh Wasim, one of six Muslims who work as caretakers in Kolkata’s synagogues, stands outside his place of work.

All religions teach peace and friendship. So why do they go to war with each other? Sometimes humans make no sense.

In India, which under the current Hindu prime minister is known for repression of Muslims, one city has a surprising story to tell. Not about Hindus and Muslims, alas, but about Jews and Muslims. And the story is especially welcome in this time, when the war in Gaza has made relations worse in other parts of the world.

At the Christian Science Monitor, Sarah Aziz explains how Kolkata, India, is different.

‘The Oct. 7 attack profoundly affected the Jewish community in Kolkata, but failed to sour Jewish-Muslim relations.’

“Dilawar Mondal gently bends the stems of a centuries-old myrtle plant to examine its aromatic leaves, used in the Jewish ritual bath for the dead. It is among the myriad plants, shrubs, and trees that he has tended to for the last eight years in Kolkata’s only Jewish cemetery, established in the early 19th century by Jewish merchants from Baghdad and Aleppo.

“He pauses to check the time – the sun is overhead, which means he’ll soon need to take a break to perform Zuhr, the afternoon Muslim prayer.

“Many of the city’s Jewish institutions – including synagogues, schools, and the cemetery – are maintained by Muslim caretakers. The intertwined communities have offered each other hope, security, and strength amid rising global hostilities following Hamas’ Oct. 7 attack and Israel’s military campaign in Gaza. …

“The camaraderie and respect between the Jewish and Muslim communities of Kolkata can be traced back to the establishment of the cemetery, says Owaiz Aslam, founder of the Kolkata-based Indian Pluralism Foundation, which promotes interfaith harmony among Indian youth.

“Historical records show Shalom Aaron Obadiah Cohen, the founder of the Baghdadi Jewish community in Kolkata, reached out to a Bengali Muslim friend regarding the cemetery.

“ ‘They were new to the country and needed help,’ Mr. Aslam says. ‘The Muslim friend offered him a plot of his own land free of cost, but … Cohen insisted on giving his friend a gold ring as a token of solidarity between the two communities, which continues even today.’ … 

“More than a century later, the Baghdadi Jews in Kolkata assigned a Muslim family from the neighboring state of Odisha the job of caring for their synagogues, explains Navras Jaat Aafreedi, an expert in Jewish history who teaches at Presidency University in Kolkata.

“Since then, several generations of that family have continued to serve the three synagogues in Kolkata – Beth El, Maghen David, and Neveh Shalom – even as the Jewish population here has dwindled.

“Fewer than 15 Jewish residents remain, most of them older. But women’s rights activist Jael Silliman, who grew up Jewish in Kolkata, says that the synagogues still hold special significance.

“ ‘These three beautiful spiritual spaces mark our presence in the city, and recall and embody our history in a place where we flourished and prospered through trade and business endeavors,’ says the scholar, noting with pride that Kolkata is home to the only two synagogues protected by the Archaeological Survey of India as important heritage sites.

“Today, the synagogues draw tourists from all over the world, and in November, Mr. Aslam initiated an interfaith Jewish-Muslim prayer ceremony at the Beth El Synagogue, where he prayed for the safe return of the hostages taken from Israel by Hamas on Oct. 7.

“ ‘As a Muslim, my heart cries for innocent children and adults suffering in Israel as well as Gaza,’ he says.

“At the same synagogue, Shaikh Wasim shows up for work in his pristine uniform, Beth. El’ embroidered on his breast pocket and a white topi, or Muslim skullcap, on his head. With reports of a global uptick in antisemitic attacks against synagogues and other Jewish institutions, Mr. Wasim and the five other caretakers who currently oversee Kolkata’s synagogues are no strangers to fear. 

“ ‘I am afraid, like any other human being,’ he says. ‘But the deep love that the Jewish and Muslim people in Kolkata share always pulls me back to the synagogue, no matter the circumstance.’

“[Jo Cohen, secretary for Jewish Community Affairs in Kolkata] says the Oct. 7 attack profoundly affected the Jewish community in Kolkata, but failed to sour Jewish-Muslim relations.

“ ‘The Muslim caretakers of the synagogues and the cemetery, alongside my Muslim friends, are as close to me as ever. The Israel-Gaza situation has not affected our relationships in the slightest,’ says Ms. Cohen, who also serves as honorary secretary at the city’s Jewish Girls’ School, where the majority of the students are Muslim. 

“Later, while cleaning around the synagogue, Mr. Wasim echoes Ms. Cohen’s sentiments. ‘I pray for the violence and bloodshed to end, so that Jewish and Muslim communities can coexist in peace like they do in Kolkata,’ he says. …

“ ‘Ultimately, a Jew and a Muslim are praying to the same God, even if they call Him by different names,’ [Cohen] says.”

More at the Monitor, here.

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Photo: Dominique Soguel.
Young migrants who arrive in Sweden alone become part of a “big family” with older people in this unusual living arrangement.

You may have heard of anti-immigrant sentiment rising in Sweden, a country that historically has been welcoming to victims of war and persecution. But no story is the whole story.

At the Christian Science Monitor Dominique Soguel reports about the ongoing generosity of many Swedes.

“It was when his older Swedish neighbors threw him a high school graduation party that Afghan native Zia Sarwary finally felt a sense of belonging in this picturesque seaside city [Helsingborg].

“ ‘It meant everything to me,’ says Mr. Sarwary, who at the age of 13 arrived alone in Sweden during the 2015 refugee crisis. ‘That was the beginning of feeling at home.’

“Mr. Sarwary is one of dozens of tenants living in Sällbo, a shared-living project mixing elder Swedes and young adults, some of them from Sweden, others – like him – from the Middle East or Afghanistan. The six-story building with 51 apartments helps counter both the loneliness of advanced-age Swedes and the integration difficulties facing migrants who arrived as unaccompanied minors.

“Tenants of Sällbo have found common ground within these colorful walls, which they attribute to the cumulative impact of courtesy, kindness, mutual curiosity, and understanding.

“ ‘The whole goal was to show that even if you are different and even if you are people who would not usually socialize, you would do so if there is a safe environment where you know who is in the house,’ says Dragana Curovic, the project manager for Sällbo. ‘After three years, we can say that it worked.’

“Had they not moved under the same roof, the older Swedes and young migrants living here would almost certainly not have mingled. Fear and misunderstanding would have been major obstacles. Older Swedes’ impressions of young migrants draw heavily on negative press reports linking them to crime.

“As for the immigrants, their interactions with Swedes had largely been limited to asylum center officials – authority figures who set the initial tone for the newcomers’ experience, but weren’t focused on building bonds with them.

“Sällbo attempts to overcome that by getting tenants engaged with each other.

To move in, tenants must agree to socialize at least two hours per week.

“That can happen in shared kitchens, activity rooms, or cozy living areas. Each floor boasts three common areas, ranging from puzzle and scrapbooking rooms to libraries and film-screening rooms to carpentry workshops. Sun-kissed kitchens are set up for mingling, growing herbs, pickling, and baking. Artwork decorates the hallways. …

“Young and old concur that the pandemic helped strengthen the bonds that bind them. Younger residents did grocery shopping for the elders, who returned the favor by helping those with low computer skills keep up with their classes online.

“Now a logger working night shifts, Mr. Sarwary wishes he had even more time to spend with his older neighbors and feels bad when he needs to cut conversations short to catch his bus. After all, elders are treated with deference in Afghanistan. He believes curiosity feeds residents’ capacity to find common ground across cultures and age groups.

“ ‘People try to understand each other,’ he says. ‘I know you have your differences. I have mine. But we can meet in the middle ground and do something together that is good for both of us. There is a positivity in everything. That is the best part.’

“ ‘Sometimes you do things that are not correct,’ Mr. Sawary continues. ‘Instead of people coming in scolding you, they come in and they’re like, “Oh, you could do it this way.” ‘ …

“It helps that people understand that he had a tough background and approach him with an open mind to learn about his headline-grabbing, war-torn homeland.

“ ‘They would always ask instead of just judging. “OK, is this true about your country?” ‘ he says. …

“Jan Gustavsson, a retired provider of security systems, says he like helping young people from Afghanistan and other parts of the world integrate. ‘We can see in … Stockholm and Gothenburg, there’s a lot of problems. … I think it will help if these people live together with Swedish people.’ …

“Anki Andersson oversees scrapbooking activities on Tuesdays. Her husband, Kalle, helps fellow seniors do seated workouts. ‘Sällbo is the perfect place if you are mobile and seeking to socialize,’ says Ms. Andersson. ‘People here are so alike in a way. It is hard to explain. We click together very well, both the older and young residents. …

“ ‘If we have something we need to do or heavy things to carry, they give as a hand. We are a big family.’ “

More at the Monitor, here. No firewall. Nice pictures.

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I had a wonderful weekend in Florida with a couple I hadn’t seen in decades. One woman asked the other what she would like for her birthday, and, because she felt that summers with my family had been a positive turning point in her life and because keeping touch through Christmas cards just didn’t cover the ground, she said she would like to have me come for a visit.

If you have never been a birthday present, I’m here to tell you that it is just the best. I include some pictures of our activities, but mainly we talked and talked and filled in the blanks.

May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be at your back, and may you be somebody’s birthday present someday.

trumpet-lily-Florida

great-egret-noisy-babies

swamp-flower-Florida

great-blue-herons-florida

Wakodahatchee-sign

Wakodahatchee-wetlands

here-be-alligators

cactus-Florida

Prime-Catch-Florida

restaurant-view

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The New York Times Science section had a cute piece in January about surprising friendships among different species of animals. Perhaps you saw it.

Erica Goode reported, “Videos of unlikely animal pairs romping or snuggling have become so common that they are piquing the interest of some scientists, who say they invite more systematic study. Among other things, researchers say, the alliances could add to an understanding of how species communicate, what propels certain animals to connect across species lines and the degree to which some animals can adopt the behaviors of other species.

” ‘There’s no question that studying these relationships can give you some insight into the factors that go into normal relationships,’ said Gordon Burghardt, a professor in the departments of psychology and ecology and evolutionary biology at the University of Tennessee, who added that one video he liked to show students was of a small and persistent tortoise tussling over a ball with a Jack Russell terrier. …

“Until recently, any suggestion that interspecies relationships might be based simply on companionship would probably have been met with derision, dismissed as Pixar-like anthropomorphism. That has changed as research has gradually eroded some boundaries between homo sapiens and other animals. Other species, it turns out, share abilities once considered exclusive to humans, including some emotions, tool use, counting, certain aspects of language and even a moral sense. …

Barbara J. King, an anthropologist at the College of William and Mary, said that she hoped researchers would begin to collect examples of cross-species interactions to build a database that would merit scientific scrutiny. ‘I think we’re not even at the point of being able to extract patterns because the database is so small,’ she said, adding that the topic could also benefit from a rigorous definition of what constitutes a ‘friendship’ between members of different species.” More here.

Photo: Noah’s Ark Animal Sanctuary by way of Africa Geographic.

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At around age 2-1/2, small people begin to be ready for friendship. My almost-three-years grandson plays with his friend now, instead of just in the same space.

They understand each other’s words. They find the same things funny — leaning way, way back on the swing, climbing back up the chute of the double slide, feeding wood chips to mitten puppets, getting ready to kick the ball down the hill when suddenly it decides to go ahead without you.

I spent a little time Saturday morning with my grandson, his friend, and her mother. I told the mother how much I love the learning-language stage. She agreed and gave me an example of how it can be confusing when one word has two meanings.

She said she had told her daughter that the new baby brother had no teeth you could see but that the teeth were in his gums. Sometime later, when her daughter asked what she was chewing and she answered that she was chewing “gum,” the little girl thought her baby brother’s teeth must be in there.

Two and a half is a time so full of strange new things, she probably didn’t think it was any stranger than anything else.

A WordPress blogger in Australia [subsequent correction: not Australia but B.C Canada in the Okanagan] has another cute story, here.

Hungry mitten puppets

get ready to kick

the ball got away

casting light, not shadow

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Last night I went to a jazz benefit for the nonprofit Kids4Peace Boston, which sponsors a summer camp and other events for children of three faiths — Christian, Muslim, and Jewish. The children are from both the United States and Jerusalem and are 11 to 12. Read more about the program here.

The fundraising event was held in the Grand Circle Gallery in Boston, which features magnificent travel posters and travel photography from the 1930s and 1940s. The entertainment was provided by Indian vocalist Annette Philip and her jazz quartet. Very impressive.

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